This imagines if South Park (that rude show with the cutouts!) did an indy ref episode...but instead it deals with the town of South Park trying to be independent from the rest of america....

This is not a fully fleshed script, just some scenes that could be in such an episode…

VERY strong language etc throughout.  And its offensive.  Very.  Especially to YES voters...

SOUTH PARK

independence episode...

CARTMAN         Kyle...I didn't vote for president Obama...in fact...I  don't know anyone that voted for president  Obama...

KYLE      Of course you didn't vote for Obama, you retard, you're only eight!

CARTMAN          But thats besides the point Kyle!!  The fact is, my vote wouldnt have counted for anything!  Just look at this chart over here.  It shows that South Park never gets the government it wants!!

KYLE           But what about Bush?  People in South Park liked him!!

CARTMAN       (sighs)...Kyle...I know you're a Jew and so its difficult for you to understand this....but look at the chart!!  CARTER!!  CLINTON!!!  OBAMA!!!  And just look at the government we could get in the next election...Hilary Clinton....with vice president John Kerry!!  And who will be their defence secretary?  Only that liberal a**hole Seth MacFarlane of Family Guy!!

KYLE           How the hell is Seth MacFarlane going to be defence secretary?  He's a tv producer!!

CARTMAN    Remember Kyle...times have changed...once...the people of this country would have kicked MacFarlane's a** for creating 3 unfunny shows and 2 terrible movies....but now...Family Guy is one of the most popular shows in America...DID YOU HEAR ME KYLE??  IN AMERICA!!!

KYLE        Anyways thats besides the point, sometimes you don't get the government you want because its a democracy!!  Thats how it works!!

CARTMAN  Oh??  So you're happy for South Park to be kicked in the b***s by people you didn't vote for??!!  That's not democracy Kyle!!  That's f***ing gay!!!

Cartman then decides to start leading his own campaign for South Park independence....

Scene...Cartman standing on a podium with a crowd of people around him.  Tv cameras are filming...

CARTMAN And so...as you can see from the chart....South Park never gets the government it votes for!!  Does that piss you off?

REDNECKS  It pisses us off!!!

CARTMAN   And we've just learnt that Obama, and his Jewish communist friends in Washington, have just proposed a bigger tax on Gasoline!!!

REDNECK1   Thats f***ing gay!!

REDNECK2  Its pissing me off!!!

CARTMAN Too right its pissing you off!!  And whats pissing me off more than anything, is how this government is impacting the lives of ordinary working people.  This...is Willlie.  He had a job.  But then he lost it.  Obama had promised him a new one...but did he get one?  No!!  And do you know who his job went to!!  MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS!!! 

WILLIE   Dey took mer jerb!!!

CARTMAN  Say it again Willie!!

WILLIE    Dey took mer jerb!!!!

CARTMAN   DEY TOOK HIS JERB!!!!

CROWD      Dey took our jerbs!!!!

CARTMAN   We are tired of the old lies of Washington...we're tired of being told what to do by communists...socialists....Jews!!!

CROWD   They're f***ing gay!!!

CARTMAN   And it seems very strange to me...that the very day, that the YES campaign leads in the polls...that Michelle Obama reveals she's pregnant!  She and Obama planned this!!

KYLE      How could they plan this Cartman? 

CARTMAN   Look everyone, an Obama a** licking Jew has joined us!

CROWD     (to Kyle)  BOOO!!!  

REDNECK 1   You're f***ing gay!!

REDNECK2   Gay as hell!!

Scene...Cartman talks about business...

CARTMAN   President Obama told us we couldnt survive as an independent country...but we are one of the richest places in the world!!  If it weren't for Washington taking all our money!!!

CROWD   Dey took our money!!!!

CARTMAN   We have a thriving food and drinks industry!!  Think of Tweeks coffee bar!!  We have a great tourism trade!!  I mean, who wouldnt want to come to South Park?

CROWD MEMBER  But...tourists don't come to South Park....

CARTMAN     Thats true...they don't.  But have you ever thought why??  Doesn't it seem strange to you...Los Angeles gets tourists....Washington DC gets tourists....New York City gets tourists!!!  But we don't?  Why is that?

CROWD  MEMBER   Maybe its because they're just better tourist destinations.

CARTMAN  Oh yeah...thats what President Obama will tell you!  Thats what the tourist board of San Francisco tells you!!  But we can see past the lies....and it becomes obvious to us that Washington are brainwashing people into going to these other places!  Lets just look at Hollywood movies shall we....(and by the way, Obama basically owns Hollywood)...When was the last time you watched a Hollywood movie and the characters went on vacation in South Park, huh?  Oh wait...it was...NEVER!!!

CROWD MEMBER  But maybe they don't show that in movies because...well..it doesnt happen!

CARTMAN     g**dammit, movies don't show fat people!  Yet they exist!!  Can you explain that one to me, you Obama licker?  HUH??

Scene...Stan and Cartman argue...

STAN    I F***ING HATE YOU CARTMAN!!!

CARTMAN   Why?  Whats wrong Stan?

STAN      You know what I'm talking about!!  The fact that my dad could lose his job as a geologist if we get independence!!

CARTMAN    Frankly Stan...I didn't think you would stoop this low...you're just scaremongering...just like  President Obama!!

STAN        I'm not scaremongering fata**!!  Most of the work my dad's company does is for clients outside South Park!!  If we become independent he wont get those contracts anymore!!  AND IT'LL ALL BE YOUR FAULT!!!  I'LL F***ING KILL YOU CARTMAN!!!

CARTMAN     Well, thats all very interesting Stan...but strangely enough...your Dad is one of my top supporters!!

RANDY      Hey boys what are you up to?  Sooo  excited about getting rid of Obama in this referendum!!  Take that Obama, you a**hole!!!

STAN     But dad, don't you see, this vote could harm you!!

RANDY    Oh yeah, I'm sure it could Stan...IF WE DON'T GET INDEPENDENCE!!!  FREEEEEEDOM!!!!  (exits)

STAN      F*** you Cartman!!  YOU did this to my dad!!

CARTMAN   I did this?  No Stan.  This wasn't me.  It was the truth that did this to him!!  Thats what I care about Stan!  Truth and freedom!

STAN       You don't care about the truth Cartman!!!  Or freedom!  You only care about getting yourself more power!

CARTMAN    Oh, and you don't think Obama is about getting more power as well?  HUH?  You really think he just became president to help people?

STAN       Well...maybe not...

CARTMAN    See!  You can't even convince yourself Stan! You know the real truth...you just don't want to admit it....